Optimism & pain

by nick huhn on February 22, 2010 · View Comments

“I probably don’t know what pain feels like- I should be thankful.”

It was difficult to hear her strained voice as the luggage rolled down the hallway, but those are the words my mom said as we walked out of the hotel this morning en route to Vanderbilt Ingram Cancer Center. Neuropathy has now paralyzed one of mom’s vocal cords, and continues to pester her shoulder and back. But she claims to not know pain.

As many who know me ‘in real life’ already know, Mom has stage IV lung cancer. If you don’t know me or the story, you might think, “that sucks, but that’s the price you pay for smoking.” The fact is, mom was not a smoker. In fact, most new lung cancer diagnoses find their way to those that never smoked or quit decades ago. Lung cancer remains, however, subject to a stigma and cold shoulder in terms of research and fundraising. More at: http://lcfamerica.org/

Mom visits Vandy every Monday to participate in a clinical trial targeted to young (she was diagnosed at 50), non-smoking females. As you may or may not know, stage IV lung cancer is not something that’s easily treated, nor is it kind to it’s victims. But the optimism here at VICC and in my mom’s heart are unbridled. Behind all the masks and caps and funny hats are smiles, memories and resplendent life.

For the past 3+ years, I would think that my mom has come to know pain. While sitting in the chair next to me a few minutes ago, the research nurse commented on how remarkable mom’s endurance and determination has been throughout this process. Mom replied, simply, “You don’t know what you can do until you have to do it.”

My mother’s journey – and the journey we’ve traversed as a family – has been arduous, but pain has become a very, very relative term.

We should be thankful.

NH

Sent from my overpriced thief of attention

Posted via email from nick huhn’s journal

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  • http://www.hallicious.com Hallicious

    Couldn't help but relate to your story. I love you, man. :)

  • stringsn88keys

    Thanks for this. It helps put things into perspective again.

  • http://twitter.com/KatFrench Kat French

    Ah, Nick. I know we don't know each other well, but your sis and I have been good friends this last year–and she told me about your mom. My mom, too, was diagnosed at age 50 with stage IV lung cancer (although in her case, she had been a smoker for 35 years). So I know all too well the difficult path you're all walking.

    Pain is relative, but so is comfort. And the love and support of family and friends provides a lot of comfort. May God watch over you, your mom, and your family.

  • http://nickhuhn.com nickhuhn

    Thanks, broseph. I think sooner or later everyone's going to endure
    something like this, so it's good to have the empathy.

  • http://nickhuhn.com nickhuhn

    Well said, Kat. Leslie told me about your mom too and I'm sorry that
    you (or anyone) had to endure such hardship. Truthfully, the situation
    helps me to savor each moment with family a little bit (ok, LOTS) more
    than I did in youth. As brutal and unexpected as this may be, it has
    helped me understand more about life, priorities and the greater
    purpose I think we all have the propensity to realize.

  • http://nickhuhn.com nickhuhn

    Thanks, Thomas. I'm sometimes told I'm good at that 'perspective'
    thing, though usually not until cracking a few eggs to make the
    omlette, so to speak.

    Regardless, thanks for the empathy.

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